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 Jokes and funny storys! xD

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boomer^
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PostSubject: Jokes and funny storys! xD   Wed Aug 01, 2007 9:35 pm

just like to start this off by saying all post here the funnyest jokes and storys you can think of but please keep the as short as possible ... i'm not after life storys here! xD



how'd you know a blondes on her period?

because she has a tampon tukd behind her ear n she can't find her pencil xD

K Thanx Bye!
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes and funny storys! xD   Thu Aug 02, 2007 2:38 am

Thats Poor ( with a capital P) Razz hehe!! il think of sum good 1s!! you just wait! N0X the compedy master is on his way...

btw good idea!! this will help forum members talk about different things thnx!
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes and funny storys! xD   Thu Aug 02, 2007 3:03 am

No worrys and that joke i did then was a quicky seing as it was proper early in the morning and i was nackerd lmao n it wall all i could remember as i was mashed lol

K thanx Bye!
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes and funny storys! xD   Thu Aug 02, 2007 5:23 am

GREG THE COMEDYMASTER !!!! COME ON M8 .. i know im in most of ur lessons... i even have a whole day with you !!!0 Razz only joking mate you crack me up in english... dunno wether im lafin at u or wit u tho m8 ill have to see
lol! cheers
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes and funny storys! xD   Thu Aug 02, 2007 6:25 am

THIS JOKE IS SLIGHTLY RACIST SO IF YOUR ARE GOING TO BE IN ANY WAY OFFENDED DOTN READ!!1

A Man is clearing out his shed and he finds a lamp

out pops a genioe and offers him 3 wishes

the man cant belive what he is seeing and thinks its a load of bullshit so he sais ok
for my first wish i wish that when i go home there will be a 50 sat on my window ledge and everytime i take it off it reapears

the genie sais Granted!

haha ok then i wish when i go home and i go up the stairs pamela anderson is sat naked on my bed waiting for me

Granted sais the genie..

now the man is a little excited and whispers his alst wish to the genie

so the man goes home and to his suprise finds the 50 on the window ledge

so he knows whats wiating for him pstairs..he rushes upstairs as fast as he can and starts to strip off as he see's pam lying on his bed. but beside her is a man

dressed like a member of the klu klux clan..he is holding a noose and is approachign the mann

the man sais hold on hold on this aint what i asked for

it is the man sais...YOU ASKED TO BE HUNG LIKE A NIGGER

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PostSubject: Re: Jokes and funny storys! xD   Thu Aug 02, 2007 6:56 am

Hahaha well i'm gunna place a joke on here in a bit that will beat that but good job i'm impressed like it alot xD

K Thanx Bye!
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes and funny storys! xD   Thu Aug 02, 2007 7:38 am

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA i thought i'd already heard that 1 Bri!! but i havnt lol thats funny hahahah!
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes and funny storys! xD   Thu Aug 02, 2007 11:22 am

Why do people where camoflage condoms???

So you can't see them cuming lol

THIS JOKE COULD BE RACIST SO PLEASE DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE GOING TO TAKE AFFESNE!!!! IT'S JUST A JOKE!


man walks into a sex shop and asks if they do sex dolls n the man behind the counter ses yh which do you want we have europian and muslim.
the man asks whats the differance n the man behind the bounter says nothing much just the muslim one blows itself up
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes and funny storys! xD   Thu Aug 02, 2007 12:03 pm

LOL @ at the sex shop joke Razz
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes and funny storys! xD   Fri Aug 03, 2007 9:07 am

An armless man in a long jacket walks into a bathroom and stands by a urinal...

Soon seeing he needs help to use the toilet he asks a closeby man, " Can you help me point my penis" ?

The man reluctantly accepted but, decided not to look at the mans penis. After a few seconds of holding it he thinks, " Hey! I'm grabbing it right"? " So I should look, I have a right"!

He looks down at the mans member and sees that is beyond hidious. Startled he jumps back and lets go, asking. " What the hell is wrong with it ?"

The "armless" man pulls his arms out of his jacket and says "I dunno, but, I ain't touchin' it." and walks away.

^^ this is nerv!!!!! ... his mom told me he has the uglyest penis so it would have to be nerv =)
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes and funny storys! xD   Fri Aug 03, 2007 9:13 am

ommmmm :p i like that one
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes and funny storys! xD   Fri Aug 03, 2007 9:18 am

this is even better
Billy was on holiday in America and didn't speak very good English. It was his last day and he was heading to the airport to fly home, but first he needed to buy a few things.

He ends up going to the store and asking the clerk for some "BUM". She sits there and thinks for awhile and then says, "Oh you must mean gum."

Then he goes to the fish store and askes if he could get some "FUCK IT". The fish man thinks and says, "Oh I get it, you must mean Bucket (bucket of fish)"

Billy shakes his head as YES.

Then he makes a trip to the pet store and says, "Could I get a cock and spank it?" The pet store owner says "Oh you must mean Cocker Spaniel."

Billy shakes his head YES.

He finally makes it to the airport where he will be catching his flight.

When he gets there he askes this guy...

"Could you hold my bum and fuck it while I get my cock and spank it"


fwaaa i crack myself up!
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes and funny storys! xD   Fri Aug 03, 2007 9:21 am

lol boomeR has something against me, i geuss about me haxxin him in cs ^^


CS joke :

NerV' Shot down boomeR^
NerV' PooneD boomeR^ with a headshot from ak47.
NerV' killed boomeR^ with a headshot from AWP.
NerV' killed boomeR^ with a headshot from Desert Eagle.

NerV' : lol like my haxx?
boomeR^ : I want to kill myself!
NerV' : I'll help you you cuntface.

kkthxbai Very Happy

lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol! lol!
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes and funny storys! xD   Fri Aug 03, 2007 9:24 am

lol i have nothing against you u moron and i don't think you hack u buzum i was playing shit yesturday n i know it lol i was jsut fukd off how i u didnt die GRRRR SPONGE BOB! n ur cs jokes proper shit ... to tell the truth lol =)

and OMG U WHORE

K thanx Bye! <<< MINE!
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes and funny storys! xD   Fri Aug 03, 2007 9:24 am

Three men went to hell.

The devil said to them "You have come to hell, and you must now choose whether to spend eternity in room 1, 2 or 3"

He then opened the doors to the three rooms.

Room 1 was filled with men standing on their heads, on a hard wooden floor.

Room 2 was filled with men standing on the heads, on a cement floor.

Finally, room 3 had just a few men, standing in shit up to their knees and drinking coffee.

The men thought for a while, and decided to go with room 3, as it was less crowded and they could drink coffee.

They entered the door to room 3 and just as it was closing behind them, the devil said "OK men, coffee break's over. Back on your heads."
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes and funny storys! xD   Fri Aug 03, 2007 9:26 am

Omigot for room3 rofld!
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes and funny storys! xD   Fri Aug 03, 2007 9:28 am

lol init! =( poor guys ohwell shouldn't of done watever they did to go to hell lol

btw do any of u like believe in hell n god n the devil n destiny or any of the shit lol

^^ just curios =)
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes and funny storys! xD   Fri Aug 03, 2007 9:32 am

I dont belive in god or devil or wahtever. but i do belive in Whatever u call it

ghosts or spirit . that things happen , like something moves and nothings htere.
They haunt ur house.

i really belive that.
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes and funny storys! xD   Fri Aug 03, 2007 9:41 am

lol yh that bout only thing i believe in and im absolutly sure theres aliens out there i meen it's highly doubtful that the univers is thatbig i meen we dnt even know how ibt it is probably neverending but clearly we can't be the only thing to be alive if u get me lol but i bin livin in my house 4 years now n my mum rekons it's haunted n not once has anything ever startled me until my mum bought one the them fragrance thing that hiss i tohught there was a snake lmfao!
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes and funny storys! xD   Fri Aug 03, 2007 4:32 pm

funny fact lol

muslims have 2 religous festivals

Ram-a-dam and Kaboom ... lmfao!!!! =) lol

don't take offense as this is classified as racial and i may be wrong buti know theese r infact 2 muslim festivals =)
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PostSubject: Re: Jokes and funny storys! xD   Fri Aug 03, 2007 4:40 pm

haha, how do u make ur own AntiFreeze???????


























U MAKE HER TAKE HER DRESS OFF...


not meaning to b sick tho... just heard it , and thort was quite funny, made me chukkle

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PostSubject: Re: Jokes and funny storys! xD   Fri Aug 03, 2007 4:44 pm

lmfao i bet u know that form experiacne yh? lol =P
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